When there is dense fog, visibility is very low. On such a morning, the buses slow down to a crawl, to the great agitation of the jostling school children and rushing adults desperate to get to their workplaces. Their eyes constantly glance at their watches. The muscles of their faces get tensed. Younger school children frantically call a guardian to pass on the anxiety.

Even on a freezing morning like that, the heat of agitation keeps rising.

The interesting thing is that, in most cases, one can not walk to their destinations. They have no choice but to trudge on with the snail-paced bus. Knowing this information, however, rarely helps to calm down the agitation of the child and the others.

This is exactly how big emotions work.

They come when they will. There is no escape route out of it when they drench you. At many instances, we feel stuck- unable to move forward or away from this big emotion.

When we are calling them big, we are making it pretty obvious that the emotions we are talking about are not easy to manage.

Well, truth be told, we can only manage our emotions if we process them. Managing them does not mean suppressing them and shoving them under the carpet.

Even when you seem not to actively engage with the big emotion, it is important to not lose sight of it.

So, what can we do when the big emotions barges into our hearts and stomps around?

Well, we offer it a cushy seat and some cake.

Just as you would greet and offer them to a friend. Let it sit across the table from you, sink into the cushy seat, and dig into the cake.

A big emotion is often looking for someone to hear it out. And offer some kindness to it. In the act of offering it sweet kindness, we are acknowledging it. This simple act that says, “I see you. I hear you”, eases it surely.

The moment you invite it for some cake, you are no longer adversaries, but partners, or maybe even friends.

Let’s imagine a scenario with the big emotion of anger.

Anger can be a big, rowdy emotion. What if you befriended anger? What if you make a pact with it to show up in you, not necessarily out there, when you see someone being bullied in the street, or when you face name-calling because of your gender or race or something else? What if you also agree upon earlier that, when you express it – the anger – you will choose your words carefully?

Imagine how beautifully powerful a big emotion can be!

When tagging an emotion as good or bad, and celebrating or sidelining it depending on this judgment, we may lose out on powerful allies and friends who make us stronger.

Why don’t you try it and take a moment today to offer a slice of cake to a big emotion of yours?

After all, who doesn’t like cake? :)